5 times Jim didn't tell someone
by gryndylows forevah
Summary: And one time he did. Or How even though they cared,but they didn't dig far enough, but Bones did. Rated with excessive caution due to mentions of abuse, alcoholism, torture, and neglect. Warnings: Slash, boyXboy, Don't like don't read. Trigger Warning:Abuse, Neglect, Torture
1. Chapter 1

Kirk'd been doing it for years. He got away from _them _and he ran straight to a bar, found someone for the night, and that was his life. Until Pike came and had the nerve to dare him to be better than the man who's shadow had been hovering above him all his life. So he, gave his bike to a stranger, got on the shuttle, met bones, and a new chapter began.

5.

Lots of things were the same, He sailed through his classes with ease, he slept around, and he kept his secrets. Some things did change though. He had a best friend that he trusted with his life, he had friends, and, for once, in some ways he was more then the son of the famous George Kirk.

Pike knew about Tarsus. That was on his records and Pike had access to those. Pike knew that Sam ran away, after all he'd kept up with Winona enough to get the news. But he didn't know about Frank. He didn't know that there were scars on his back, that when his mom went up into space, trying to avoid her dead husband watching her through her youngest son's eyes, he was beaten half to death, and he never knew that Frank haunted his nightmares when Tarsus didn't.

Pike saw a dead man's son. Pike didn't see the amazing man that he that could be, the Captain, later Admiral, was to focused on the fact that his father had died to save the earth and his crew. Pike thought nothing could measure up, and so he was never given a chance. Pike didn't see the haunted past either, to caught up in the dead father again, to caught up by the Winona Kirk he had once known, to suspect anything but a pleasant childhood. Pike never knew better and he never wanted to.

4.

Uhura never wanted to see him as anything but the jerk who wouldn't stop hitting on her. Eventually that became a friendship. Playful banter between friends. The friendship wasn't particularly deep, and for a huge part of it he didn't know her name. But he kept trying and she kept coming up with new, fun way to reject him, a game that lasted three years. She never tried to dig deeper, it wasn't the nature of their friendship. And they were OK with that. But it meant that even though she didn't see dead man watching her, she never saw beyond the masks.

Time passed and eventually she learned more about him, through shared classes, through their banter. He knew how to speak a lot of languages, which she learnt in a beginner relations class that all fresh cadets had to take, to ensure that they never made a major slip up that would cost them their lives or star fleet it's reputation, after he carried out eighteen conversation with different species in their native language, rather than Standard. He had high pain tolerance, which she learnt in a basic hand-to-hand combat class, that all fresh cadets had to take for two years, to ensure their safety, after he proved it in a two hour battle, when, no matter how many times he was, hit, he kept getting back up, until he beat the worn out instructor(she later learned that he broke two ribs and bruised the rest, but kept going). She never connected the dots. Everyone knew, thanks to the ever present press, that Winona Kirk had remarried, but she didn't know that he abused him. She knew that Tarsus had happened, that thousands had died, in massive a massive genocide movement, which had less survivors than the second world war's holocaust. She never realized that he had been there. That he saved the lives of children.

Uhura never knew that he had nightmares, that he hadn't been pampered all his life. She never wanted to.

3.

Pavel Chekhov never realized that there was more to him then what showed on the surface. Pavel was the youngest and brightest member of the enterprise's crew, and the Ensign looked up to his captain as a hero. The brilliant teen saw a man who had saved the Earth, saved him personally, had even died for him. Pavel saw a hero, and never more. The man seen was a hero while on duty, who cared enough to spend time to get to know his crew on their down time. In between shifts they talked, played, trained. But still that image, that illusion of a modern day superman remained.

He never heard screams in the night so her never realized that his hero had more then two layers. He was more then a hero and a friend. He'd had a life before the enterprise, even as the youngest captain in star fleet's history. Pavel never realized the lack of stories from his captain's youth. So he could never realize that silence held tales of abuse at the hand of the alcoholic his mother married, the absent mother who didn't care, the brother who left, never to be seen again, or torture at the hands of madman who wanted him and all he cared for dead. Pavel never heard the silence, and never realized a gruesome truth. He never needed more then a captain and a friend.

2.

George Samuel Kirk left before his brother had a chance. He ignored the cries of his baby brother as he turned his back on him. He ignored the truth of his actions, that he had abandoned a child with a mother who didn't care and an abusive alcoholic. He knew about the abuse. He knew it would happen. Despite what he told himself, that his brother would be fine, that Frank would change, that Winona would change, he knew the truth, what he'd abandoned his brother to.

But he left. So he didn't know about scars that never disappeared, about nightmares that were punctuated by screams, about how his brother had been to live with their aunt on Tarsus. He wasn't their so he never knew. He carried the regret daily, sometimes when he slept he saw a small face covered in tears and that haunting voice begging him not to leave him alone with Frank. But he never knew. For years the only way he knew his brother was alive was the press. Every year on his brothers birthday, the anniversary of his father's death, between indecision while looking at communication ports and continued guilt, he would see a memorial program, reassuring him that his mother, step-father, and brother lived on.

It was when he was nearing his thirties that he saw it. James T. Kirk's face grinning on the screen. He was in a bar and when he saw it the entire bar learned who he was, when he spit out his drink and nearly began sobbing as he heard the story. He didn't know that his brother had nightmares, but he knew that his brother was a hero. He never wanted more.

1.

Scotty was grateful, above all for the presence of James T. Kirk in his life. He had been going slowly insane trapped in the god-awful winter wasteland that was Delta-Vega. Being brought aboard the star-ship enterprise was a dream come true, not to mention the distinct change in food quality.

At first Scotty was unimpressed by the man that had been sent to Delta-Vega. He saw the charm and heard the charisma in his voice, and had figured that he had been stumbled upon by another recruit that was nothing more than another pretty face, chosen for his apparently natural charm. But when they were beamed by the older Vulcan onto the enterprise-which Scotty had been nothing short of astounded by-And had ended up in the tubing, only to be saved by the captain, in the nick of time, that opinion had shifted. He started to see the brilliance that hid behind a nice face, and pretty words. He was excited by the potential equal and he bonded quickly over shared intellect.

Their bond however went only slightly father, a homemade brewery in the back of engineering was a shared secret, and night drinking together led quickly to stories from their youth. Scotty told all about his life, and the captain, told about the years between turning eighteen and joining star fleet. Some stories were lost to a booze-induced haze, so Scotty never wondered at the lack of childhood memories. He knew about George Kirk's sacrifice, and it wasn't discussed. The lost stories weren't about his childhood, ther were no tales about a happy childhood, but Scotty never realized.

He slept through any nightmares that his captain had, and he never wondered about his captains childhood. He never realized and he never asked. He had savior, an equal in intellect , and a friend to share his memories with. He never meant to see more.

0.

Leonard McCoy, met his best friend in a metal death trap, that was headed into the horrible abyss that was space. The first words out his mouth were that he may through up on the man that he didn't yet know was to become his best friend. The next words came together into a rant about his awful ex-wife, and how all he'd been left after the divorce was his bones. And so, along with the best friendship of his life(and later more), was born his nickname, only to be used by Jim Kirk(of course),Bones.

The first time he woke up to screams in the middle of the night, instead of asking questions, he held the man close while he sobbed, and silently wondered at how much agony was being shown by the normally cheerful man, that he grew steadily closer to daily. The first time he saw his roommate(and closest friend) without a shirt, the scars made him freeze for a moment before, he sighed sadly. He didn't ask and the only thing he got that showed that Jim knew the severity of the scars, was a small sad smile.

It wasn't until they were in their second year as cadets together, and as roommates, that Bones got an explanation. He'd been woken be screams again, and as he held his sobbing best friend, he received the full story of the man's life. He listened silently as Jim struggled through tears to relay the story. The shadow of his dead father, his brother leaving him, his mother hating him, his step-father abusing him. Alone the early years of his life seemed unreal, like a horror story but, even as Bones' horror grew, it got worse, Tarsus, then returning back to his hellish family explained Bones held his friend as he drifted off. In the Morning everything was different, but the same still.

When they got together, it didn't surprise their friends, and really, just like when Jim told Bones everything, everything was still the same, even if it was different. He knew everything, and he still loved Jim.


	2. Chapter 2

So I forgot my author's Note, and my disclaimer so before I get sued: I do not own Start Trek or any of the characters in this story


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